where the fourth wall ends

As of writing this, I’m impatiently waiting for the next round of episodes of Love is Blind to come out on Netflix. I’ve watched so much Selling Sunset and Bling Empire that I am beyond qualified to write Uncanny Valley pop music. I’m sneaking in a few written words during Bachelor in Paradise commercial breaks.Continue reading “where the fourth wall ends”

what & how we collect

My dad used to say that I was a collector of trash and that my mom was my enabler. Long before I was allowed to drink, I started keeping wine bottles that I found interesting: a merlot with a Beatles-themed label, a chianti with a bulbous bottom wrapped in straw. Eventually, I ran out ofContinue reading “what & how we collect”

manufacturing fun

The year was 1999 and my family structured a weekend getaway around Pennsylvania tourist attractions. We visited the Johnstown Flood Museum, Jimmy Stewart’s house, and Fallingwater, Frank Lloyd Wright’s 1935 western Pennsylvanian home that I was, at the age of four, too young to enter. The most important leg of the trip, at least forContinue reading “manufacturing fun”

there’s your trouble

My love affair with the Dixie Chicks began around age four with the release of the Texan trio’s debut album, Wide Open Spaces. We listened to the CD in the car and on the stereo in our living room. Every other night I listened to it through fuzzy boombox speakers on a cassette tape thatContinue reading “there’s your trouble”

who’s afraid of Sylvia Plath?

I am. Or, I was. Here’s what happened. I was seventeen the summer after I graduated from high school. My family and I took a trip to the beach. It wasn’t something we did often. We were more of a hike-in-the-woods family than a sand-and-surf family. I’m pretty sure we went because I insisted thatContinue reading “who’s afraid of Sylvia Plath?”

things I know about living beings

First of all, it’s not much. My understanding of the natural world looks more like an absence than anything else. I’m not good at science or math. This is something I often treat like a personality trait perhaps because it makes me very different than more than half of my family. Maybe that makes itContinue reading “things I know about living beings”

she doesn’t need to give him a chance

This ridiculous essay was previously published on Medium. The original title was “The One Episode of Lizzie McGuire That’s a Big Bummer.” Like many people in their mid to late twenties, the rollout of Disney Plus excited me in part because it meant revisiting old Disney Channel Original classics. For three weeks straight, I usedContinue reading “she doesn’t need to give him a chance”

can I help you prepare for the end of the world?

“I put a tp aside because we are out and it’s tos!!” Sean texts me. “tp” is toilet paper and “tos” is temporarily out of stock. He works at a Trader Joe’s in Pittsburgh. So far, we have not heard of any confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Pittsburgh but we all know it’s coming. AfterContinue reading “can I help you prepare for the end of the world?”